Goodbye 2020!

 

So, this is it! The most hated year of the century is going to end soon. We all have hated this year so much including me too. I despised this year because I get to spend half of my fresher year at my home. The moment I thought I'm adjusting to this new phase of my life as a college student, as an IITian basically, I was thrown back to where it all started. At first, when the lockdown was declared, we all were crying. Crying that we were at home when we were supposed to enjoy our college life. Crying that we were at the peak of all the things we were doing at that very moment and now all those are at halt.

If I'm being honest, I don't hate this year as much as I say so. I love spending time with my parents, my family, my two babies aka Oreo and Marshmallow and I missed these people a lot while living in hostel. I got back on my reading. I get to have a summer vacation which I never asked for. Somewhere, I do feel blessed that we had this pause. I personally feel that we all are lucky to have this break.

Apart from the sad reality of millions of people dying, we all found a new way of running the world, a new perspective of how life can be lived. This year was important for me because it made me realize to let go of things which I can't control. It made me learn that it's ok to not do anything. It's ok to take a break and just chill. This break was long pending for many of us. Amidst all the hustle of life, we forgot that we need to take care of ourselves.

I hit a low point during the lockdown, where I started feeling all alone, started feeling that I have no friends. Even though I did. I felt as if I was the only one who did nothing productive in this period. I felt that all my friends are learning so much things and there I was still at level 0. I felt that I was lagging behind. Luckily, my parents were by my side and they pushed me to be okay with this changing environment. I started thinking that the world is gonna end (a bit of overthinking but yeah) while this was just a beginning of a new world. My parents forced me to talk to my friends. So, I did. And I'm glad I did. I texted my college friends. Made some new friends. Got in touch with my old school friends. I planned video calls with my friends, randomly called them up and talked for like hours and trust me that works. At first, it was weird but with time I realized it's not. There are so many people out there feeling exactly the same. A simple thing such as a message lifted me up.

I soon got back to my schedule and studies. Tried new things. Started reading more. Watched some good web series. And now, when I look back I feel that it was genuine to feel that way. And I shouldn't have bogged down myself so much. I was capable enough to make things work. And I'm glad that with the support of some special people I'm making it work. I understood that I'm not behind nor am I ahead. And actually no one is. Everyone are having their own journey and path which they and only they are supposed to follow. I have my own path and it's different from theirs.

I'm extremely proud while saying this that I have read around 30 books during the lockdown, which is a positive thing to look back to for me. I know this number is very small, but for me it's big. It's big because I was never a book person. In the last one or two years I started reading that too not so frequently. But last year, I made this habit that I'll always keep another book ready while reading one. So, the series were maintained by me throughout this year. I kept reading one book after another. I didn't read though for sometime as I was going through a reader's block. But rest I'm really grateful.

Now, I am a sophomore. And a student guide aka Amma. I have 9 girls under me. And talking with them and overall talking with many freshers, I feel that I have grown. In one year of being in college, I have learnt things. Small things like how to write formal E-mails, how to use Instagram properly, how to use different facilities like Google meet, Google Classroom, etc. And some big things as well. I'm very happy where I am as of now. And I hope that I'll someday look back at this time, this blog and smile and again realizing how far I am at that time coz I know we have to keep going.

I know I'm sounding very philosophical right now and maybe I am.

So, goodbye to 2020.

And let's hope for a better year ahead.