Now, I know I disappeared for some time, but I was really caught up in so many ongoing things in college and in personal life. But yes, I’m back.
Now the idea for
this blog was lingering in my mind for some time and I thought that I really need
to let this out. Before moving on, let me clarify something, I’m not a pro in doing
things alone but I’m really on board with doing this more often.
A little
background. From the time I was in school, I’ve never done anything alone;
partly because I never liked doing things alone (I craved company – extrovert things)
and partly because I was too young to go alone. I never even went to washroom
alone in school, so you can guess that doing things alone is so not me.
When I started
driving Activa, the first time I went alone on my own apart from going to bring
groceries, was to my coaching classes in the month of May 2019 - the month of my
JEE-Advance exam. And this added more tension to both my parents as well as me,
as I couldn’t afford to get myself injured in any way. I was so scared of having
an accident or anything of that sort, that I protected myself with a helmet and
a scarf. Took my learner’s license and drove at the speed of 30 km/hrs to my
classes. I was terrified but at the same time the seed of independence was
sowed in me. And meanwhile, at home, my parents were waiting for my message that
I have reached my classes safe and sound. That message not only brought peace
to my parents but also to me coz I made it to my classes safely.
At that time, this
was just a small achievement which soon went unnoticed and unappreciated by me.
After getting my car’s license, I used to go on long drives with my mom on Sabarmati
Riverfront in Ahmedabad. This is during the pandemic (though lockdown was uplifted),
so any opportunity of going outside was something I readily jumped on. These
long drives were a bliss for me.
But soon, these long drives stopped as I soon got caught up in my academics. I started feeling trapped at home. So, after some time of feeling this way, I decided that I really need to go out even if it meant that I have to go alone (Coz plans with friends are hardly executed).
On 1st
February 2021, I decided to step out of my house and to take myself out on a ME-date.
Fortunately, I was given permission to take car (with a little hesitation from
both me as well as my parent’s side). As this was my first-time taking car out
alone in traffic, I chose a safe place where the road was familiar to me and with
less traffic. I went to this restaurant called ‘Mexican at Bay’ situated at Riverfront,
Ahmedabad. I nervously drove myself there, successfully parked my car, told my
name with hesitation when asked if I was alone or not (the guard uncle wrote my
name as ‘zena’ instead of zeba, so you can feel how nervously I spoke)
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| Photoshoot of Double Sin Chocolate Frappe |
I picked a table
at the extreme corner (Again too afraid to sit at the middle of the restaurant),
and sat there and observed a group of ladies all dressed up so nicely, 2
friends catching up with each other, a family of 3 with this little girl who
was running around and making everyone smile in the restaurant. I nervously
went through the menu card, and ordered a Double Sin Chocolate Frappe - too
damn costly. I opened my novel which I was reading at that time - ‘Becoming’ by
Michelle Obama. When the frappe arrived, I clicked some pics of the drink and
also of me – took a little time to pose properly and freely coz again a hell
lot of nervous and kept on thinking that everyone was staring at me. Soon after
finishing up my drink, I paid the bill and left with a sense of accomplishment.
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| Successfully clicked a nice photo |
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| Before going home, I wandered at riverfront too. |
I returned back
after taking a long drive on riverfront whilst listening to some of my favorite
jams which I played on my phone. While driving, one thought kept coming, that I
have to write about this and I did in my diary and now here. And I also thought
that I’ll do more of these.
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| Always wanted to click such a pic! |
And soon after, on
23rd February 2021, I went to shopping alone, again taking the car. Just
now, this was no riverfront, this was proper traffic area, but after the first
time, there was a certain confidence in both me and my parents. I got myself 4
t-shirts and I wore them the next 4 days as well – was really proud while
wearing those as bought them without my mom’s advice.
Doing things alone has given me a sense of independence and freedom, a sense of being an 18-year old. You can do anything alone – from grabbing a bite to going on long drives – this also includes driving alone to work as well. Doing things alone is so not me, but I’m more than happy that I tried and even more happy that I’m going to do more of these things again. Way to being independent.
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