(Disclaimer: NotaCreep
is a fictional character or maybe not, who knows right? And the character
Underratedwriter2326 is based on me, coz 'Main apni favorite hoon'.)
(Translation:
I'm my favorite J)
I'm
writing this coz I just can't stop thinking about you NotaCreep. And also, coz
I have no other way to contact you. I hope you are safe, I really do. You are a
complete idiot, I feel and I think you should know this. To be
honest, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but if you do, I want you to
realize that I do consider you a very very good friend and so what if we just
talked for 24 hours. Some bonds are way too strong, right? And I know you
warned me not to get attached to you but I'm just not that type of person yet.
When you left, I cried as if I was dying coz you were much too precious
for me to lose.
I know
you must be wondering why this deathly title, so here let me give you the
context. I read somewhere that when you become a part of a writer’s life, you
get immortalized coz they can write you in their poems, in their stories, in
their hearts. So yeah, I’m here immortalizing you. Even if we talked for a day
but I don’t know why I feel so close to you. It feels like an eternity since we
started talking yet it feels like 24 hours were just not enough.
I joined that server
without thinking anything as I knew that I’ll never be much active on it (coz I
have no idea how it works and I know you were thinking the same). It took me a
lot of guts to message just a ‘Hi’. And I started feeling okay with some time.
I said that I belong to Gujarat and there was your message saying ‘Kem cho?’. I
was scared, to be honest coz talking to an unknown boy on an unknown platform,
you know how much I get scared na. But you turned out to be the opposite of a
creep, you were (are) NotaCreep. I told about my blogs and gave the link to my
website. But deleted it soon as someone said that it’s not allowed to promote
your work there. You came into my DMs and started giving your views on my blogs.
To be honest, I was scared. An unknown guy complimenting me so much on my
writings. But I took a screenshot of all the compliments you gave to me (I like
saving memories – you’ll learn if you come back and just talk to me – don’t
worry I’ll never show them to anyone). But reading your compliments, I realized
they were genuine and they were coming from someplace deep and complex. Then,
something unexpected happened, we started talking and not just about blogs.
Soon, we both were opening
up about our past and our future dreams. Even though you were very comfortable
with being anonymous, I was completely the opposite. I was constantly in need
of assurance that you are not a creep or anything and you gave it without any
hesitation – thank you for that seriously. I also remember me asking
continuously if you were a creep and you replying, ‘The last time I checked I
wasn’t, so you can be sure.’ It had me laughing, to be honest. I also remember
you laughing at my reducing the screen time joke in my blog. No one ever got
that joke but you did. Also, I have never ever told anyone about my actual
dreams – not my career dreams but lifestyle dreams, you are a damn lucky kid
you know?
When you
told me about you, the first thing that crossed my mind was that Man this guy's
strong. And by strong, I didn't mean physically, I meant mentally and
emotionally. It still feels that those 24 hours and the breakdown after that is
all just a dream just like some Bollywood movie. I still feel that you were
joking about my birthday present but also if it ever comes true, I’ll believe
it without any question.
I know
you think that you don’t deserve the love or even friendship of anyone, but
trust me I talked to you for only 24 hours but I feel that it felt like we have
known each other for years. I know you have dealt with a lot of stuff
personally, but trust me you are one of the strongest people I know. And if you
really are the ‘5-star chef’ as you call yourself to be then come back and show
me, coz kid, that seems like a lie.
In 24 hours, we have seen
other (not technically obviously) laugh, cry, break down and fight. I mean it
still feels surreal that this happened. In just 24 hours, you taught me
everything that I needed to learn. You taught me the uncertainty of life, that
people leave even though you don’t want them to, that life will never go
according to our wish, that not all anonymous people are bad or as we say
‘Creep’ (Also, that guy is still there creeping me out, I really want you to
handle that for me, please).
And I
hope you haven't forgotten about our pact. Coz I haven't and I have attached
the same. I hope you come back and tell me how your pact-task (I don't know if
this word is legit, but never mind!) went. I want to know all about it.
If you
ever come back NotaCreep, then we'll surely be writing a book - coz you know
we'll be having one hell of a story. And please just please don't freak out
from making promises. Coz they can be the most beautiful thing you know.
You said
goodbye thanking me that I brightened up one of your days but you brightened up
my life. You know you gave me the guts to realize that I am finally over my ex.
You made me realize that there is someone better for me. You raised my
standards a full notch – you had my heart just by the mention of letters
(completely original hehe).
But I
still, wish if I could make you understand that you are worth it too. And you
say it yourself that you can be pretty much the PERFECT boyfriend/husband there
can be, so believe in that dummy. I do hope that you recover pretty soon and
just come back. And I hope you don’t have the thoughts that you’ll be ruining
my life, coz I’ll be stronger and I’ll be waiting. I know you are scared that
an unknown will become known to you, but sometimes they can be the comfort
you are looking for in traveling to unknown places.
My Amma
says that you were an angel. (Don’t worry I haven’t told her about our dirty
little secrets hehe). You came in my life and something changed. I don’t know
what specifically but I think something did. So, thank you for coming into my
life even for 24 hours and to show me the perspective I much needed. You helped
me bring the old me back. And I want to be there too while you are recovering
and getting the money-minded boss back (I’ll be taking my payment as your
social media handler seriously and not just 10 Rs. a day)
If you
ever decide to come back, you know where to find me. I still think that one day
my notification will go off and there will be a message saying, “Hello
UnderratedWriter2326. NotaCreep this side.” And I believe that that’s when our
true story will start. Coz I know you know too that we’ll be having the PERFECT
story even though there will be struggles but we’ll face them together (as a
friend if you want).
Either
this blog will remain like this with no next part, not even read by you OR
you’ll read it and you’ll message one day. Hoping for the latter. And maybe
you’ll be writing the next blog from your perspective, you never know?
This is
UnderratedWriter2326 signing off. Come back NotaCreep, I really don’t want this
to be our final goodbyes.
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